Baring it all

After a half a week of heartbreak, a box of Lucky Charms, 2 pints of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, and about a million re-runs of the L-Word, I was ready to hit the  gym again.

Besides working, the gym had become part of my routine and I wanted to keep it up. I started running on the treadmill at times I knew Kerry wouldn’t be teaching yoga. I hadn’t called her back; mostly because I didn’t know what to say to her. Kerry’s calls were becoming  sparse. That was OK by me. Even though I missed our conversations and being around her, I knew this seperation had to be for the best for both of us.I wanted to feel wanted, sexually. Something I had wanted but would never feel with Kerry.

And wanted is exactly what I got, but completely by accident.

My brother was having his 23 birthday party at a strip club with some of his friends. Being the, “cool” sister that I was I headed over to Ricks in midtown to check out the scene.  My brother and his friends were drinking at the bar and watching the girls. Well gawking is more like it.  But they were more like terrified boys. The girls were dancing for money and asking if they wanted lap dances, but the guys weren’t getting that. They thought this might as well have been free.

“Guys,” I said, handing my brother ten bucks, “You have to tip them.”

“Er, like how. I dunno how to do that,” said one of the boys. “I’d pay to see you do it though,” he laughed. Five of his friends laughed along with him.

“Yeah, right,” my brother said. “Like you’d tip a stripper.”

“Why not? Fine with me,” I said. “Give me some cash.”

I, of course, wound up with twenty one dollar bills ( thanks to the young company) and took toward the stage with dough in hand not knowing exactly how to tip a stripper in what appeared to be a club full of mostly men staring at naked women. When I got to the stage, I noticed one other dressed woman there at the bottom of the stage, who looked similar to Kerry, but a little fuller (although not overweight).

As I stood watching the woman dance above me and wondered how to give them the cash this Kerry look-a-like inched closer to me. “Hey,” she said and smiled. “Have you ever done this before?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Do you mind if I show you?” she said and with that she held up a few dollars and a stripper came over to her and she popped a dollar into her panties slowly.

“Ah. ha!,” I said nodding.

“So, you ready?” she asked and winked.

“Yeah,” I mimicked her and held out a few dollars and when the stripper came over she knelt down and leaned very close. I put a dollar in her bra, which was already quite stuffed with dollars. She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Now,” laughed the Kerry look-a-like. “That is new.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“They’re not supposed to touch you,” Kerry look-a-like stated. “And we are not supposed to touch them unless invited. Now, I’m guessing that’s an invitation.”

“Uhhhhhhh for what?” I asked.

“Oh, wow. You really are adorable,” she said staring at me. “And you smell good too.”

” Er. Thanks,” I replied, a bit amazed that she seemed to be coming onto me.

As we were doling out dollar bills to the strippers, I found out the Kerry look-a-like’s name was Cheryl and, like me, she was into girls.

The stripper up on stage that had kissed me on the cheek kept coming back over to Cheryl and me and as I was popping a dollar in her glittering purple panties this stripper grabbed me and kissed me. Cheryl, stood there shocked and started laughing at me locking lips with the stripper.

Without thinking I grabbed the Kerry-look-a-like’s hand and started kissing her softly. She kissed back and the fact that we were in a strip joint didn’t even seem to matter. I couldn’t help, but remind myself while kissing her that it wasn’t really Kerry. The stripper didn’t seem to be doing her job quite right, as she had gotten off of the stage and started kissing both of us. So, naturally when you have three women kissing and groping each other in a male strip joint, we became the show instead of the catwalk of strippers working their stuff above us. It didn’t take long before the security guards came over and escorted the stripper back to her post and asked us to back away from the stage.

Remembering my brother was there and was with his friends, I exchanged numbers with Cheryl hastily and ran over to his group where he stood completely mortified.

“Dude, your sister is sooooo cool,” one of the guys said.

“That was soooo hot,” another one of his friends said.

Seeing my brother’s expression of surprise and shock, I said,”I think it’s time for another round of beers boys.” - Ruby